line. twist. turn. curve.

Normally, I try not to pay attention to my haters, but this time I’d like to talk about it, ‘cause my haters are my motivators. (Million Moms) doesn’t think that I should be the spokesperson for this company because I’m gay — so for those of you just tuning in for the first time, it’s true: I’m gay.

…So they wanted to get me fired, and I’m proud to say JC Penney stuck by their decision to make me their spokesperson. It’s great news for me because I need some new crew socks. I’m really gonna clean up with this discount.

I mean, if they have a problem with spokespeople, what about the Pillsbury Doughboy? I mean he runs around without any pants on, basically begging people to poke his belly. What kind of message is that, you know?

…I usually don’t talk about stuff like this on my show, but I really wanna thank everyone who’s supporting me, and if you don’t know me very well — if you’re just watching for the first time, maybe just getting to know me — I wanna be clear, and here are the values I stand for: I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you wanna be treated, and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values; that’s what I stand for.